Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Its about making memories worth repressing
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
