Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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