Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
