things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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