As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
