ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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