she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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