First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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