We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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