I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
