I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize