Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
