if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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