The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
They took my balls.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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