If i come over, it means nothing
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
