For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
