Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize
