it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
