One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize