He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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