I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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