clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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