Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
The air was thick with penises
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
