I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
