We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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