She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
