Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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