maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
