i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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