I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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