I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
