I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
