weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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