If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
