Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
