I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
