One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
