Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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