were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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