thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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