You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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