"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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