recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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