How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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