That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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