Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
