the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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