me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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