I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Are we still banned from the library?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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