I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
