We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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