Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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