hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
