Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Still dying that you shit outside
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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