she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
