so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
