so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
