AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
found the other keg... it's in the tree
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
