Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
