your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
