oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
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