btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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