Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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